Less is more

[Johnnie Moore]

(Cross posted with minor edits from my personal blog)

'm blogging this from Calgary Airport on my way home from Banff.

During Open Space at our conference, I started a conversation about the shadow side of improv, suggesting we sit in a circle and use a talking stick. The idea of the stick is to assure that only one person talks at a time - if you don't have the stick, you just listen.

I also pointed out the option of holding the stick and not talking, if you wanted to hold a silence. Someone made good use of that and it was a good experience. At first, I could feel my own sense of anxiety; but as I gave it my attention I realised that this anxiety was not being caused by the silence, but being highlighted by it. Sitting with it for a while, I felt able to slow my racing thoughts down and get a better sense of connection to others. In the silence, I could hear their breathing and mine, again building a sense of a deeper, more primal connection.

I find extraordinary things happen in response to the apparently simple use of a talking stick. Once people can speak with the comfort of knowing they won't be interrupted, and also with the strong sense that they are really being listened to, the whole quality of speech changes. It becomes more heartfelt, and people seem to choose to show greater vulnerability. You soon learn surprising things about your fellow participants, and realise how superficial are some of your previous judgements about them.

It was also satisfying to see a group easily holding strong emotions and charged conflicts among participants. In the spirit of open space, I confirmed that although I was opening the conversation, I was not facilitating it. I invited us all to jointly hold the space, and we did - more elegantly than I would have done had I tried to somehow take charge.

This was another occasion where no mention was made about a confidentiality agreement; it seems to me that a more sophisticated kind of trust often emerges when it's not laboured. I don't think I heard anyone ask for a confidentiality agreement at any point in the whole event.

I come away from this particular experience, and also from the event in general, reinforced in my desire for minimalism in facilitation and intervention. Greater stuff seems to happen when you get out of the way.

[Gary Schwartz]

Rather than the talking stick, try "Give and Take". It's a basic tenant in the Spolin book.
Give and Take warm-up starts with movement in a circle. One person takes while everyone else holds on (No-Motion) anyone can take it and the interrupted player holds (but can take back at any time). Then move to sound and movement. Eventually get to words and conversation. Needed are an understanding of No-Motion.
The focus on No-motion eliminates the fear that comes from worrying about being next.
My 2 cents.

[Robin McCulloch]

I use an exercise similar to the talking stick when I'm teaching focus. I create an imaginary ball that has to be passed around which seems simple until I create more imaginary balls that need to be kept track of as well. This illustrates what happens when there is more than one focus in any group action. The ball representing the one intended focus and then more balls recreating the attempt to change the focus or create new elements to focus on. New points of focus not being confused with the original point of focus growing and changing.

I then move the students to a situation like a waiting room and give them a talking stick. There is always great discomfort at first with not being able to talk with out the stick and as well attempts to force the stick on individuals you want to respond to your offers. You must take the stick but can't pass it in an attempt to manage the dialogue. It is amazing how much initial distress there is in the silence and also the inability to move an individual's agenda forward by forcing responses from others.

Another exercise I use for creating silence to develop space for thought is Count Ten to Talk. In this you must leave a space of about the same length of time it would take you to count to ten before you can respond to the last thing another player has said.

This space of time forces the players to not just listen but absorb and react internally to what has been said. Again there is initial discomfort but eventually the quality of the responses changes as people stop actually counting to ten, seeing the time as a penalty, and start to hear what the other people are saying on a deeper level. (Listening for communication isn't just hearing sound but hearing meaning and intent. And forcing time before reaction increase the ability to hear different possibilities and therefore create a broader range of response. It also reduces miscommunication from "knowing" what the other person is going to say.)

Getting people to realize the value of silence in communication or creation is difficult at first but I equate it to the use of negative and positive space in painting. That you want to find a balance between the two so that one accentuates and supports the other.

[Paul Z Jackson]

Heart and head... and guts.

[Maureen E. Mc Bride]

Is this system clock set to GMT?

[Robin Starr]

The theme that kept arising during the conference was one of connection. Whether the connection was through shining a light on the shadow, daring to be average, or looking at another and really seeing, it's working from the heart that is real. Not head, but heart. I get it. I am not alone, and neither are "you". YAY!

[Maureen E. Mc Bride]

Please feel free read my post and contact me if your are so inspired. I am actively seeking pro-active types such as yourself for a series of projects.